Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Never published weird crap I've written, found in my drafts

As a disclaimer, I might have been drinking Tito's and tonic when I wrote this, god knows when.
Also, I've never claimed to be nOrMaL

"I have ruined a brand new shirt.
I am not upset about this.
Straight out of the packaging this morning fold marks ironed out. (I iron my own) This shirt will never look this good again.
I went to put my cell phone in the shirt pocket to discover there was no shirt pocket. wtf?
Like the other shirts I bought recently, the cut on the sleeves appears to be for a cadaver; arms at sides never to be raised above the shoulders, laid out in, " he looks so life like" splendor. No pleat on the back. wtf?

What this post is really about is chopsticks and Asian food in general.
I have grease spotted my new shirt while consuming Vietnamese food from a local restaurant.
When I eat Asian, I find it a great challenge to eat with chopsticks. Now I have a reason to never wear this shirt again."


Blowing my car again

Wait.  That doesn't sound quite right.   I like it ok, but not that much.
Noticed a really musty smell this morning in the Scion roller skate. I thought it was remnant O de kx59 seeing as I'd traipsed all over an un-air conditioned office tower yesterday and sweated my ass off.  Monkey brain offered an opinion and said, "you need better deodorant"
I picked up a stack of paper this morning that I'd thrown on the passenger side floor board to find it soaking wet.
Great.
AC condensate drain is plugged again.
So I left work early (that's 5 pm for you normal people) so I'd have enough daylight left to put it up on the ramps and crawl up underneath.
Yikes that exhaust collector is hot.
Why the condensate drain tube does not extend down below the sub frame on this car I cannot imagine. **
That little winky is tucked way up in there.  There's all kinds of scalding hot naughty bits, around which you must navigate to reach it, unless the car has been sitting for a while.
So a bit of scrap rubber hose held to the end of the drain, a quick blow and a half gallon of water drains out. Good for another 25,000 miles.

** Probably to keep driveway crawlers like me from fixing my own minor maintenance issue. I'm sure this is a real money maker for Toyota. Almost as good as pulling the rumpled driver's side floor mat out from under the gas pedal.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Should I tell her?

Belle is away visiting friends.  I got home this evening and broke off my front door key in the lock.
SRSLY?
Insult to injury after two of the shittiest weeks I've had in quite some time.*
Fortunately, there was just enough of a nub of the broken key that I was able to pull on the door knob and turn the lock out.

The broken key in the lock was not wanting to come out, so I was thinking I might have to run to the hardware store and get a couple of replacement dead bolts for the front and back doors.

My lizard brain thought,"If I do, maybe I won't tell Belle and she'll get home and her key won't work and she'll totally freak  HA HA HA HA"

My monkey brain having a higher IQ by at least 10 points simply responded, "Not Funny Dumbass".

So, with  slumped shoulders of self inflicted shame, I went back and worked on the key a bit more, and of course now it came out of the lock.

Now, time to go spelunking in the junk drawer for spares.





*Why I have not posted in a while.














Monday, August 4, 2014

A life less virtual

This I needed. No cable or Satellite TV. Damn near no cell signal.
The Motley Crew

Family. 

My Brother In Law lands a 37" Bull Red. Duly measured, photographed and set free.
Red Fish are good eatin, but they don't breed until they get big.** 

My Bro works another Bull Red.

Oh. Wait.
Never mind.
This Trophy Red Fish morphed into a (trophy?) Stingray 
by the time he got it up off the bottom and along side the boat.
Also known as sea scallops :) if you've ever ordered them in a restaurant.
Nasty buggers.
Known to kill cable TV wildlife show hosts.




**  For the libtards, this is known as conservation. It is not necessary to set the human race back to the stone age to take care of the environment.

It's not fair. I did not get to catch a 37" Bull Red Fish. I demand that the federal government pass a law and do something about this because I am one person and therefore the smallest minority group ever (2.857 e-9 of the population) in the history of the Socialist Republic of America.  Therefore I deserve special consideration, privileges, and State forced acceptance of my red fish deficiency.















Saturday, July 26, 2014

Adventures in Home Taxidermy

Kx and I were at the local steakhouse for a nice dinner tonight and while waiting in the bar for our table, looked up and saw this...



By the look on his face he is either....

A Surprised to be up there.
B. Terrified of something or other..
C.  Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
D.  All of the above...
E.  None of the above, but whoever stuffed this cat had either a strange sense of humor, or was just as surprised as the bobcat to have something to actually stuff in the first place.

Whatever the issue....   it had to be this person's first because I've never seen such a goofy look on a dead cat's face.....

Belle



Thursday, July 24, 2014

Guns Welcome Sign increases business!!

Bluegrass Bruce  posted up an interesting little story on his blog.  He sent an email to me and pointed it out to me.  Bruce, thank you for reading our blog and welcome to the blogroll!!!  

You can find the story here .

On a side note, a bank in Chappel Hill, Texas had been robbed several times within a month or two and they posted a similar sign.  Interestingly enough, the robberies stopped.

Amazing what happens when you allow encourage law abiding citizens to exercise their right to self defense by keeping and bearing arms, in your establishment.  You increase traffic and suddenly your place of business becomes a much safer place.

Also, I can recall back in the 90's car jackings in the Houston area were on the rise.  It seemed that every night on the news there was at least one in town that was reported.  Often the owner of the car was at a stop light and pulled from their car and either killed if they resisted or left standing there while the perp drove off.

Once the concealed carry law went into effect and people were getting their licenses to carry....  well, car jackings decreased significantly.

Again, when you allow encourage people to exercise their right to self defense, violent crime tends to decrease and your neighborhood is a much safer place.


Belle

Friday, July 18, 2014

Gray hair and computers do not mix well

Actually that is a misstatement.
People and computers do not mix well...from a security standpoint.
Anything a human hand touches will get fucked up to some degree. That is more absolute than taxes or death.

One of my very senior partners emailed today to tell me he ran the computer "cleaner" program my part time IT guy put on his computer and now it was asking him for money to "clean" his computer.
He was on the intertubes and clicked the pop up that told him his computer was infected.
Similar name to the malware program we do use, so he clicked away.*

My gray haired users fuck up their computers because of ignorance.
My twenty something users fuck up their computers because of stupidity, and "OH! A Shiny Thing!"

I see all kinds of quips on the net about how adept the younger generations are with computers. Hell I can't figure this out, I'll get my ten year old to fix it.
It is a lie.  Yes, they know how to get this app and that app and how to stream music on their iphone.
Yet, they still have to find the email with the link to click for their timesheet so they can get paid.

Really? That's how you get to your timesheet?  Let me show you how to make an icon on your desktop with a quick link that will get your right there.

We are still cavemen, we just have higher tech clubs.
My network would be pristine and perfect if the "users" did not have to touch it.



* Years ago, pre-pentium days, when we first got Winders, he clicked the excel icon and it did not open right away.
So he clicked it again, and again...and again. He called me and said his computer was not working right.
As I arrived at his desk, I witnessed about twenty-seven instances of excell cascade across the screen.
PIBCAC
"May I have your chair?"
click "X", Click "X" twenty-seven times.
" if the program does not open right away, wait for a minute"
"ok, thanks Kx"

He's a very healthy cat

So said the vet when Belle took TC in for a check and to get his nuts cut.
Well, except for all the scabs from claw marks on his head and shoulders and the abscessed bite wound on his front leg.
Oh, and the..gak...tapeworm...in his mouth.  First time i've ever heard of a Vet uttering the word, "gross", but I have to agree.

The Vet says the locations of his fight wounds point towards him being aggressor.
He adopted us by seige and he protects his territory aggressively.

I'm waiting for the remaining testosterone in his system to wear off.  He needs to chill out a bit.
Giving him his pain meds is no fun. Why can't they make that stuff taste like fish?

I have been there

I know for fact it is real.
A friend emails confirmation from the road:



Also: have you ever wondered...via instapundit