Grandma, I mean Judy!

There's a lady that used to live across the street from my mother, who has two daughters that are close to my age.  The house where my mother still lives, we all moved in to when I was a sophomore in high school.  Having been taken away from everything that I knew and all my friends 1/2 way through high school, you could say that I was less than happy.

The two daughters welcomed me to the neighborhood, but two other girls that lived two houses down came and 'rescued me' from the other two because they were apparently uncool and their mom who was dubbed 'Old Lady Smith' was worse than uncool, she was a busy body that would tell on you if you did something wrong.

I never actively hated Mrs. Smith or her daughters, I just avoided them like the plague, lest I end up getting grounded because someone told on me for something.  I finished high school and married my high school sweetheart immediately, only to find myself and my husband back home again within 6 months because I was pregnant and we didn't have insurance and weren't about to go on Medicaid or any other kind of government assistance.  We just moved home and payed for my oldest the old fashioned way....  cash.

All that being said, when I was pregnant with my oldest, I worked in the evenings and so I was home all day.  After my daily soaps, I would go outside and see Mrs. Smith watering her yard, digging in her flower bed or doing whatever else she would always do.  She would say hello, I would say hello back (it was safe to talk to her because she couldn't tell on me for anything anymore).  Eventually, those hellos turned into us meeting in the middle of the road (we lived on a cul-de-sac) and chatting briefly, which eventually led to a nice long visit on her front porch swing.


Eventually, Mrs. Smith became Judy and our visits lasted longer and longer.  One day, my mother got home from work and walked over to ask me a question and I introduced her to Judy.  They became fast friends and soon, mom joined us every day on Judy's front porch.  What I found out about Judy is that she is one of the nicest women that I would ever meet and would do anything in the world to help someone, no questions asked.

Soon enough my daughter arrived.  Judy would dote on her just like she would her own grandchildren (her daughters were still in college at the time and didn't have any kids of their own).   As my daughter grew older and began to speak she would call out to Judy......  "Grandma!  I mean Judy!"  Yes, Judy was like a third grandma to my oldest and spoiled her rotten, too.

Judy and her husband Jerry became family to all of us.  Every family party, which always consisted of a live band and plenty of adult beverages, every special occasion, every funeral.  When my father was sick with cancer, Judy was there for my mom, she was there for all of us really and when dad died it was the same.  She was always there, always giving, always loving.

About a year and a half ago, we got the news that Judy had collapsed from an aneurysm in her brain which ruptured.   She was in a coma for a short time, but she woke up and while she had no short term memory to speak of, her long term memory was good and eventually she was able to go back home.  Her family, thankfully was able to have another year and half with her.

Yesterday my mother called me to tell me that Judy had a massive stroke and was on life support and there was nothing more that the doctors could do for her.  Today, her family took her off life support, but Judy, the fighter and tough lady that she is, is still breathing.  She's holding her own, though she's in a medical induced coma and it's only a matter of time before she passes on.

Every time Judy walked into a room, it would seem that the world would be a little brighter.  When she spoke to you it was always kind and encouraging, I don't think that I've ever, in the 24 years that I've known her, heard a harsh word come out of her mouth.  Her love and strength sustained my mother and me during some of the hardest times of our lives.  Now, that light is going out.

The only thing that I can do now is to pay her kindness forward and when the time comes, be there for her family and give them the love that she gave to us.  I pray with all of my heart that her passing is peaceful and that will somehow, someway in some time be a comfort to her family.

Judy, whereever you are right now, please know that you are loved.  Go to the light in peace and joy and with the knowledge that here on this earth, you made a difference.

God speed.