God My Ass Is Cold!!

So we just got off the pier and it’s a bit chilly.  My butt is what is equivalent to an icicle from sitting in a lawn chair out there.  There was an annual boat parade to be watched and the boat parade was nice, but small this year, no doubt a sign of the economy.

I can remember another time when my ass was as cold, it was on my honeymoon.  Now, before you think that it was a lame honeymoon, stop right there.  The honeymoon was awesome, just the outdoor activities left me a bit chilly at times.

It was my idea to go skiing despite the fact that I once swore that I would never strap two boards to my feet and slide down the side of a mountain.  So imagine his surprise when I suggested to my better half a Durango ski trip to celebrate our marital bliss.

Having only water-skied before along with ice skating, I had never been on snow skis.  In fact, I had never been in snow that deep before in my life.  I have to say that it was amazing to see the lovely white powdery blanket on the slopes.  Wait, did I say powdery?  I meant slushy man-made snow, as it was early in the year plus they were having a drought so they were making the snow.

I did what every beginner should do and took a ½ day lesson with a ski instructor.  I took to it very well and before long, I was taking that bunny slope like a pro (ha ha).  After my lesson was over, I went up to the restaurant and had lunch with the husband and afterward, we decided to go back down to the bunny slope before heading to the top of the mountain.

There was a little trail that led down there, which was called the ski-way.  It was a Snow Cat trail so it was very narrow and a blue (intermediate) run.  So, I ski down this thing and when I was almost to the end, I had to make a hard right turn as to not end up in the trees.

This is when I realized that there are two stages to a crash.  First, there’s the mental crash, then the actual crash itself.  I see the trees coming up on me very fast and my mental crash consisted of my panic and muttering ‘OH SHIT’.  I made the right turn beautifully and was home free when the second, “oh my god I can’t believe I made it” phase commenced.  This is where the true mental crash came and I yelled out my husband’s name and dropped my poles.  The dropping of the poles signaled the rest of my body that was time for the physical crash.  I went down hard and fast, but was unscathed, just a little shaken up.

So I was sitting there on the snow, thinking, “God my ass is cold” as I watched my wonderful man take the little ski-lift up to the top and ski down to collect my things.  I got back up and skied the bunnies a couple of times before deciding that it was time to brave the big mountain.

So that I don’t bore you to death with a story that is way too long to do justice in this post, I will stop here and pick up with a part two of this post in a little while.

Until then………….