While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, who's hand was caught
in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man...
Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president.
The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle''.
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country road and
you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain.'
"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there,
he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond
his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb XXX
put him up there to begin with."
President Obama has just confirmed that the D.C. earthquake occurred on a rare and obscure fault-line, apparently known as "Bush's Fault".
Obama also announced that the Secret Service and Maxine Waters continues an investigation of the quake's suspicious ties to the Tea Party.
Conservatives, however, have proven that it was caused by the founding fathers rolling over in their graves.
Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, "Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2012!"
"Great Nancy , but how?” asked Harry.
"Well, we'll get some real cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador Retriever. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there, you know, “clinging to their guns and bibles and such".
And so they did. They found just the place they were looking for in Ennis, Montana .
With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?" "Yes we are!" said Nancy , "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color."
They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.
A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador , lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog's tail and left shaking their heads.
Finally, Nancy asked the bartender, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"
"Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!"