The small voice in the back of your head and grilling steaks.

I am the laziest griller you will ever meet, this not to say that I am not successful at it however.

Belle brought back two nice T-bones from Chapel Hill and we decided to "grill" them tonight.

Apparently, global warming is real as I saw that the ambient air temperature was north of 250 degrees when I went out back to survey the results of the redneck irrigation system.

oh, wait, that thing must be broke too, I'm not on fire.

That small voice:

Starting the gas grill is always fun. The spark lighter works..sometimes. These days I most often use a long nosed butane lighter to git er goin. Long nosed butane lighter is no where to be found. I whined to Belle that I don't like lighting it with kitchen matches because it burns off what little hair I have on the back of my hand.

So I take the long barbecue tongs and a box of kitchen matches out to the luxurious tenbyten concrete patio thinking that I'll clamp a kitchen match in the tongs, light another match, light the tong clamped match, turn the knob and light 'er up. I apparently channeled Mr. Ford, because I had a better idea in the three steps to the grill. I'm hearing that small small voice that tells me this is not a good idea. This time, I elected to listen.

Small small voice tells me, "perhaps you can get the spark lighter to work". Perhaps I can, says I.

The button is stiff, the casters on the grill are not in the "upright and locked position, please turn off all electronic devices in preparation for conflagration lift off".

I simultaneously turn the first gas knob and push the button, a waft of propane reaches my nose as the grill scoots away from me toward the edge of the patio. Small voice says "STOP" and " TURN OFF THE GAS". I'm feeling proud of myself. I listened twice today. There's been times when the small voice didn't even speak up, but that's another story.

So I wedged my foot under the grill to keep it from moving and mashed the hell out of the button. The sweet tick tick tick sound told me turning the gas knob would be a good idea right about now.

Grilling heresy:

I don't exactly "grill". My technique is what I refer to as the "lazy man's approach". I developed this technique over many years of cooking over charcoal. I'm still trying to adjust to the gas grill. It has been hit or miss with my particular "grilling" style.

With charcoal, I place a decent sized pile of charcoal banked to one side of the Weber grill and get a good hot bed of coals going. I baste the steaks in Worcestershire and the seasoning of the day, lime pepper or Tony C's, perhaps a bit of garlic, crusted heavily to compensate for the inevitable exfoliation when the meat hits the grill. Seer both sides well, then move the steaks to the opposite side of the grill. Place the lid on the grill (heresy), with the lid vent on the opposite side from the fire. Open the vents so that the heat travels a path over the steaks and out the vent.

The most important step is next. Go inside, in the air conditioning, crack a beer and make a blog post.

Every once in a while, go out and flip the steaks, poking them with the tongs to test the jiggle factor. On the poke that they no longer jiggle, they are medium rare, beautifully and uniformly pink between the seared surfaces.

With the gas grill, choking off the heat for a slow cook after seering by closing thelid is not an option, as the flame tends to go out. More frustrating is that the gas grill is designed to keep you from doing this.

So I find myself having to run check on the steaks much more often. With the charcoal, I know just how many beers it takes.

The Wiener Pulls Out to a Round of Applause

On the way into town for a job interview, I was listening to the radio.  Rep. Wiener announced his resignation.

Now for the funny part.  He went on about values and patriotism, etc. etc. but when he announced his resignation applause and cheers broke out.  As he kept on talking you could in the background, "Hey is it more than 7 inches?" and other such lewd comments.

Of course, these are New Yorkers we're talking about and they do lewd like none other.  I had to laugh but in a weird way, I almost felt sorry for the guy.

Calling Texas Bloggers.......

With Borepatch in the neighborhood, we are wanting to try for a blog shoot.

We've picked a date, Saturday June 25th at 9:00 am.

The location is in Lockhart, TX.  The website for the range is http://www.ctxpta.com/index.html driving directions are on the website along with range fees, etc.

I realize that for those of us in the Houston area, Lockhart is a bit of a haul; however, I hear that the BBQ in that town is excellent (must have food after a good trip to the range), also, considering that Borepatch is a guest in our wonderful state, it makes more sense to show him that good old Texas hospitality and not make him drive too terribly far.

joyeux anniversaire Madame Alésage Patch

Hah! Google translate is cool. I don't speak much french unless you are in a bar at closing time and you've been drinking a lot, then I'm fluent.

Happy Birthday Mrs. Borepatch, git your cowgirl on.

Guffaw's rules

..for being human:

Rules for being Human
1. You will learn lessons.
2. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
3. A lesson is repeated until it is learned.
4. If you don't learn easy lessons, they get harder (pain is one way the universe gets your attention).
5. You will know you have learned a lesson when your actions change. - taken from Cherie Carter Scott

I've read this a couple of times, it is very close to my take on the meaning of life. Mine is shorter.

Life is school.

If you do not create the circumstances from which to learn a lesson by your own choices, your circumstances will help you out with that.

In Loving Memory.....

Today marks the 14th anniversary of my father's passing.

My dad was a very good man and if I could choose any father on the planet, I would still choose him.  He spent 9 years in the US Air Force where he trained as a medic.  He was a machinist and carpenter by trade and could fix anything from automobiles to a teenage daughter's broken heart.

I think of him every single day and I always wish that he would have lived to see my own life turn around.  I find myself at times thinking, if I knew then what I know now, I would have been much less of a screw up when I was young.  Then of course I snap out of it because truth be known, I probably would have done no different.

Ah, but the one thing that I do know is that no matter what, my dad loved me unconditionally.  He was an amazing person and I really cannot think of a single person that knew him that didn't have something nice or funny to say about him.

Dad was a prankster.  He enjoyed playing a practical joke, which some of them I will be telling in future posts, but this one, I want to focus on the loving and teaching side of him.

Being an only child until I was almost 8, I had the opportunity to pal around with dad all the time.  When he was doing carpentry, he would sometimes take me to the job site where I would haul lumber for him and explore the site, trying to imagine what it will look like when it was all finished.

He took me fishing quite a bit when I was a kid.  He taught me how to bait my own hook, how to cast, how to throw a cast net to catch bait, how to catch crabs and crayfish.  He taught me how to water ski.  Dad was a great water skier.  He could get up on one ski with a beer in his hand and a cigarette lit in his mouth.  The cig would stay lit!  Now that took real strength and talent!  To this day, when I'm on the water, I think of my dad and I can't help but to smile.

When I was 10 he bought me as a birthday present, my .22 rifle.  The first thing that dad taught me was how to safely handle it, how to take it apart and clean it and of course how to put it back together.  He taught me how to shoot at the very range where I go and shoot my Tokorev.  To this day, when I'm at the range, I feel close to dad.

When I was about 15 or 16, dad took me to the golf course to teach me to play golf.  That trip didn't go over so well because being a teenager, I knew everything, right?  I will say though that regardless of his frustration with me, he kept his cool and just being with dad that day was nice.  When I started working where the hubby works, I started playing golf.  Eventually mom gave me dad's clubs and I took lessons.  I shot with his clubs for a long time, now my hubby uses them when he plays.  As you must know the pattern by now, every time I'm on a golf course, dad is right there with me.

When I was 17 years old, I bought my first car.  We brought it home and the first thing that dad did was make me go into the house and put on something that I didn't mind getting greasy.  He taught me how to change my oil and how to change a tire.  Over time, he taught me how to replace a water pump, an alternator, brakes and various other repairs.  My hubby is a shade tree mechanic and I've been known to give him a hand from time to time when I need to.  Heck, I've even done my own brakes, changing out the caliper by myself.  The last thing that my father and I did together was my brakes.  That's another story that I will tell another time but let's just say that particular brake job led me to my husband.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him and that I wish that he were still here.  There's so much in my life that I wish that he would have gotten to know and experience.  He would have loved my husband and my stepkids.  My two granddaughters he would have been over the moon for and I know that he would be so proud of what beautiful women my two daughters have grown up to be.  It makes me a little sad at times, but all in all, I know that it was just his time.  One door closes, others open.  It always works that way.

So without further ado, I leave you with two songs that remind me of my dad.  I hope you enjoy.

And then this tear jerker......

Stop Helping!

Really, we'd be better off if Obama and the Democrats would all just go play golf until Nov. 2012.

Obama has a new plan! God help us.

from Foxsnews.com

"President Obama, in what he described as an "all-hands-on-deck strategy" to boost the economy, announced a new program Monday aimed at training 10,000 new American engineers every year"

Yet again, obama proves he knows nothing with respect to job creation. Where are said 10,000 engineers a year going to find a job? I guess he figures if a bunch of wet behind the ears engineering graduates get together, by golly, they'll just figure out how to jump start this economy. (well, that's how it's worked in his administration hasn't it, oh wait, most of his academic economic advisers have bailed on him)

"The president also announced what he called the "better buildings initiative," a push to upgrade buildings for energy efficiency that would be co-led by former President Bill Clinton. He claimed the upgrades, while putting contractors to work, could in the long run save companies $40 billion a year -- money that could be put to use hiring new workers.

"It is a win-win-win-win proposition," Obama said."

Oy, where to begin with this. This better building initiative is so far behind the curve it is unbelievable. The U.S. Green Building Council, founded in 1993, which developed the Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) rating system for buildings, has become the defacto standard for green building design. And, imagine this, this is not a Federal Agency. Nonetheless, the concept took hold in the building industry and the free market nurtured its growth by competition.

Most developers of large scale projects were already requiring the kind of energy efficient design promoted by the LEED rating system. The LEED rating system gave developers a 3rd party certification system from which they could market the efficiency of their buildings. The savings in operating costs go directly to their bottom line.

Taking all the steps to get a building LEED certified adds to the initial cost of a new building. Doing the retrofit to an existing building is even more expensive. In the current economy, I'm not seeing existing building owners clammoring to spend a bunch of money to get their building LEED certified. I'm squinting really hard here, but not seeing any jobs so far.

Obama's quote should read : "It is a win-win-win-win fail-fail-fail proposition," Obama said." There, fixed it for ya.

"In an opinion piece published Monday in The Wall Street Journal, Immelt and American Express CEO and chairman Ken Chennault laid out a series of jobs council ideas to increase employment, including easing visa applications to attract more tourists and the plan to increase energy efficiency in commercial buildings."

Want to bet whether that easing of visa applications "to attract more tourists" includes work visas". What are the odds that those mythical engineering jobs might go to foreign engineers?

Of course, Immelt, being the CEO of General Electric is all over this initiative. The initiative, by itself, will do zip for job creation. If coded into federal law, when the economy does eventually pick up and the building industry recovers, this will be a boon to GE. GE is vested heavily in the the whole global warming, er climate change boondoggle.

Still squinting. No jobs in sight yet.

From the scholars at MSU (Making Shit Up)

I love documentaries, I also love a good mystery.  I watch shows like Ghost Hunters and right now, I'm watching Finding Bigfoot.

I got really aggravated tonight with that show.  One of the investigators who has supposedly been tracking Sasquatches for years said something that was so utterly ridiculous I was appalled and had to come here and rant about it.

The team had happened up on an old deer carcass that had been there a long time, as all that was left were bones.  One of the legs was broken, snapped off clean.  Some of the people in the investigation team were saying that the deer might have lost its footing and rolled down the hill, breaking its leg in the fall.

That of course seems logical and with scavengers disposing of the flesh, muscle and ligaments, the rest of the leg would be lord knows where.

The leader (for lack of a better term, the guy is a jackass who throws temper tantrums and refuses to listen to reason or admit that he fucks up) of the group has another theory and he says and I quote, though it's paraphrased, "This was done by a Squatch, This is exactly what a Squatch does.  They catch the deer and immediately break its leg.  This was definitely a Squatch's kill.  See that break, that had to be done by a twisting motion.  That's what a Squatch does."

This of course begs the question............   "HOW THE F*** DO YOU KNOW THAT EXACTLY? WE CAN'T EVEN PROVE THE BEASTS EXIST!"

This kind of "scientific" evidence analysis makes me crazy.  I see it all the time on other shows, especially shows on the behaviors of long extinct animals like dinosaurs.  For the most part, it's all speculation, yet they treat it as if it were fact.

You cannot possibly know something for certain unless you witness it.  You can believe something to be true, you can present a theory but to state it as fact is a fallacy.  Had that guy stated, "I believe that this is how a big foot would hunt because it makes sense for it to immobilize its prey as soon it is caught it."  Then I wouldn't have gotten so riled up.  As it is, the guy is nothing more than a Ghost Hunter wannabe.

Ghost Hunters never present themselves as all knowing about the supernatural.  They base their knowledge on the evidence they gather and they analyse it accordingly.  They are plumbers for crying out loud and they are better scientists than the so called educated scientists on the Big Foot show.

/end rant

yay me

Well, I took second place last night and won a little bit of money.

A good time was had by all and my partner was really fun to shoot with.  It was the first time that I've ever met the guy, he was a decent shot and didn't get mad at me at all if I missed.

I'm a little sleepy today though.  Nature of the beast.  I'm thinking about taking a nap.

Well...........

Off to shoot darts!  Maybe I'll win a little money tonight, who knows.