Saturday, October 23, 2010

Butch up, dude!

It’s been kind of a hectic week this week so I haven’t made any posts.  That will happen from time to time because, well, life is just that way sometimes.

This week, the City of Houston hosted what they called an Anti-Bullying Summit, where they addressed the age old problem of bullying.  It’s not that I have a problem with addressing the issue, but what I want to know is why the parents haven’t taught their kids to stand up for themselves?

I realize that there is a bully in every school and also, not every personality is capable or willing to fight back, but sometimes, the kind, gentle kid just needs to hear from his/her parents, “It’s okay to fight back, I will stand by you no matter what.”

There is a ‘no tolerance’ policy in schools now days, so even when a kid is defending his/herself they will also not only get suspended from school; in some cases they will also get arrested.  I think, while this policy means well, it sometimes puts good kids in harm’s way by making them afraid to stand up for themselves.

My step-son was in a situation when he lived with his mother, where he was being bullied by the kids in his class.  It was really becoming a big problem for him, he didn’t want to go to school, he wasn’t eating, and he wasn’t sleeping.

My husband finally told him that it was okay to defend himself.  The boy child expressed that he was afraid to do anything because he didn’t want to get into trouble.  My husband assured him that while he might get into trouble at school, we would all stand by him and he would not be in trouble at home.  Picking fights gets him in trouble, self defense does not.

So about a week later, the kids (who are in general cruel by the way) all decided to play a little game of “Let’s kick my son in the nuts repeatedly” while they were on the play ground.  My son, who had enough of this, decided to bloody the ring-leader’s nose.

My son got in trouble, my husband had to go to the school and talk to the principle.  The principle was shamed into admitting that his teachers were not keeping close enough watch on the kids at recess and the best result of it all was that after that moment, my son was pretty much left alone.

So with all of these anti- bullying summits going on, I hate to say it, but it’s a waste of time to try and stop bullying.  Bullying is just something that is always going to happen.  There will always be cowards who pick on the weak, what we need is to teach kids how to stand up for themselves and fight back, and we need a little common sense in the schoolyard, not an across the board ‘no tolerance’ policy.

If we don’t teach our kids how to stand up and fight for their rights as children, they will never do it as adults.  That, my friends, can be bad for us all.

Until next time…………

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