Unfortunate, no rain in the forecast today

Being out in the county, juusst outside the city limits, the skies light up on July 4 and New Years eve in a big way.
We've been blessed with a statistics defying number of rain days on those two dates in the time we've occupied the BAR Corp. HQ.
The day after I find dud mortars around the yard and occasionally on the roof of the house.
The closest call was when my own brother knocked over the tube while lighting one up.
The projectile impacted the tactical bullet proof 1/8" thick glass in one of the front windows.
Fortunately, the angle of impact imparted less vector force normal to the glass than parallel and the mortar bounced off into the neighbor's front yard.
I have never seen fat old people run that fast in my life.*

I happened to be inside the house and heard a thump on the front window and a massive BOOM at rather low horizon.
"WTF are you people doing out here!", said I as I exited the front door.

My brother's wife has never allowed him to come back up this way for farworks.
The danger close mortar strike was bad, but I suspect it was lighting up the mortar cake he spent $150 on that was the final straw.
See, there was no visible fuse. So, he started picking at the paper till he found one.
Remember kids, stop, drop and roll!
Bro lit the "fuse".
BOOM!  BOOM! BOOM! etc, etc, etc,
Bro hit the ground within his body length from the munitions like a seasoned WWII soldier and rolled away.
"Are you okay?!"
"What?"
"Are you okay?!"
"What?"
His hearing recovered, but he's not allowed to come out and play anymore.**

Oh yeah, almost forgot, HAPPY NEW YEAR YA'LL!
I'll be asleep most likely.

* I totally made that part up.
** most of his eyebrow grew back, in case you were wondering.