Thursday, July 19, 2012

All that without a single drop of rum!!

Well, I haven't been blogging this past week, Kx has been picking up the slack.  You see, he's been nagging at me to write about my recent tumble down a flight of stairs......

My long time readers will remember the story of my wrestling with an outboard motor, new readers can go and look here for the story and you will find out that I am not always as graceful as I look.  In fact, I sometimes think that I am just one big accident waiting to happen (except when handling firearms of course).  In fact, a very dear friend of mine thinks that I should be wrapped up in bubble wrap like the Michelin Tire Man or something.

We went on our cruise to Mexico and had a wonderful time.  It was my first cruise and while I am very accustomed to being on a boat, angler that I am, I had never been on a large ship for an extended period of time.

When we arrived back home, I found that my sea legs were just fine, however, I had to get my land legs back because my balance was off for a few days after the trip.  I still felt like I was moving.  Granted the seas were very calm and I don't have problems with motion sickness of any kind; however, when you're on a cruise ship, you can still sense that you are moving and you can feel the slight changes in the ship as you move over waves.

We had been home for more than 24 hours and my other half had gone to the store.  I was upstairs and had decided to go downstairs.  It was no big deal, there was nothing in my hands, nothing blocking my view it was just an ordinary trip down the same stairs that I have descended thousands of times over 13 1/2 years.

Somehow or another, the first step down disappeared on me and I missed it completely (sneaky stair) and having overstepped it, I then hit the second step down but kind of far out and that's when all hell broke loose.

Not one, but both feet slipped out from under me and I fell flat on my ass on the stairs...  well, I bounced off my ass on the stairs.

So the chain of events are like so....

1.  I pulled the missing step trick on my feet, which were surprised at having such a far reach, they panicked and flew into the air.
2.  My ass acted as a cushion/bouncey ball and on impact hurled me into the air.
3.  My arms, not wanting to be left out of the fun waved in the air, which somehow or another directed my body sideways while my body managed to fold itself in half at the waist....
4.  My ass apparently loved the stairs so much that it decided to give the edge of the stairs a hug, which ended up giving my tailbone a bit of a shock.
5.  My brain thinks that my ass is on fire and tells my body to "stop, drop and roll"
6.  My body rolls a little more than half way down the stairs.

The amazing thing about all this?  Nothing broken and just a few bruises on my ass.  I was sore in places that I forget even existed though.

Bowling the next night was torture, and this past Monday, a week after the fall, I was still a little sore.  There is something about a sore tailbone and hurling a 12 lb ball that just don't mix well!

When I told my story to Kx... he said I needed to blog it.  I've been waiting for the embarrassment and shame to leave me before I did.

It reminds me of a Patrick McManus story about falling.  It's called How to go Splat!  I think that my fall would have been rated at least a 9 considering that my comically droll statement as I walked away was straight from Jack Sparrow's (Pirates of the Carribbean) lips....

"All that without a single drop of rum!"

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