Friday, January 27, 2012


Bluesun inspires another post and reminds me of more calamities I've survived without the Nannystate legislating me into a rubber room for my own protection.  It was the delayed pain aspect that brought back the associative memory.
Sometimes, when you stub your toe, it hurts like an em effer right away. Sometimes there's this delay, just long enough for you to think, "crap, here comes the pain."  Bluesun sidles off into the miracle of the healing process and in few words makes a connection to the Milky Way Galaxy, or something.
Waitress!, I'll have what he's drinking...
From my own experience, I've learned that some toes are more important than others.
Aside from sprained ankles, I've egregiously jammed my right big toe twice.  I recall the hobbling around for days on end. I recall the event that caused the hobbling for one of them. The other I've completely sublimated.
The event I recall involves a soccer ball.  To set this up, I needed a visual aid. I've seen these things hundreds of times and I realize I have no idea what they are called.
So, I go on a google search..let's try "metal balls on strings"  Hmmm, "Ben Wa balls", maybe that's it.
Yeeaaah...No. That's definitely not what I'm looking for. Ah, there it is.

In the midst of the Publik Schule Physical Education class, taught by three coaches, two of which were retired Marine Drill Sargents (I am not making this up, there is another whole post there now that I think about it) all of us gangly middle school boys were playing soccer.
Somebody booted the ball almost straight up into the air and it landed far outside the shin kicking herd.  Immediately, I broke away. At the same moment the other "fast kid" did as well. The field was open, it was just him and I.  We arrived at the ball positioned exactly 180 degrees from one another, relative to the ball.
If you grab two of the balls (assuming you are not a TSA "agent") from each end of newton's cradle and release them at the same time, they will bounce in opposite directions, and the center ball will not move.
We kicked the ball at exactly the same time. We both did a reverse Lindy and face planted on the field. The soccer ball did not move. After catching my breath, I learned that your big toe is very important in the process of walking. I was reminded of this concept for some days after that, every time I took a step.
I've found that really jacking up your little toe hobbles your walking ability as well. The little toe seems to provide yaw control, and when it is not functioning quite correctly, you may find yourself walking in large radius circles. But, that's another post I suppose.

The Unimportant Toe:
I have umpteen busted knuckles, scrapes and cuts from working on cars over the years. A toe injury is unusual.  I had worked the better part of Saturday, diagnosing and replacing parts under cloudy skies in a vain attempt to get the Astro Beater Van running again.  Saturday night, it rained.
Sunday morning I got up, bed head and all, and went out barefooted to think about the problem. I got into the driver's seat of the van and sat there for a while thinking about the symptoms of the problem.  I decided coffee would help so I shifted and put my left foot down in the well of the door, not thinking about my wet feet. I pushed on my left foot to turn for the exit and my foot slipped.
I kicked the inside of the door, pretty good mind you. You have five toes. You might have stubbed the Big toe, and certainly the little toed and perhaps by collateral damage the adjacent toes, but under what circumstances would you ever stub your middle toe?
I found it.
It hurt, sort of, after a delay. By the end of the day, the whole toe had turned black..well there was some purple in there too. So I'm thinking I need to go to the Doc. Surely it's broken. Conventional wisdom says there's not much to be done for a broken toe though. Tape to it's neighbor and get on with it.  Try not to walk in circles.
What I discovered is that it did not impair my bipedal motion whatsoever. Over the following days, it got to looking worse. I was pretty sure is was going to dry up and fall off. But, like Bluesun noted, the healing process is a miraculous thing.
It's still there, fulfilling it's role as the filler between the toes that hurt when you stub them.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are not moderated. Disagreement is fine as long as you address the message, not the messenger. In other words, don't be an ass.