At the salon....

When you use the same hair dresser for not only your hair styling needs, but also your leg and bikini waxing torture sessions, you tend to get to know your beautician pretty darn well.  I mean, waxing is a rather up close and personal ordeal, which, I might add, requires a couple or three martinis before subjecting oneself to such fun (ha ha).

Anyhow, during a trip to the salon, your hairstylist will sometimes tell you really bizarre things.  My stylist is from Honduras and she's really fantastically interesting and has a really good sense of humor.

So today, she colored and styled my hair and waxed my eyebrows. The waxing of the eyebrows brought to mind my last leg/bikini wax session (this past Tuesday) and how unusually painful it was this time.  I informed her that my better half, with great admiration, informed me that I have heuvos for braving a bikini wax.

Hairdresser tells me a story about this man who would have her wax his whole body.  He was a body builder who would pay her very good money for waxing him.  She said that when you do a Brazilian  or bikini wax on a woman, it's no big deal, but men have 'extra parts' to deal with and it's quite embarrassing.

She said, "moving his junk around was just really crazy, but I get used to it"
I said, "I would have made him at least buy me a drink first."
She said, "he pay very good money so no problem.  I was just happy he don't get excited"
I said, "Yeah, that would complicate matters, I'm sure."

So we were laughing about that for a little bit while my eyebrows were getting waxed, then we went over to the chair and I sat down and she's about to start blow drying my hair when she begins to pump smoothing gel into her hands.

Apparently, the conversation excited the smoothing gel because when she pumped it, it shot all over the place, including on my foot.

Now, by this time, I was laughing so hard that I was crying, and she is laughing saying, "I know what you thinking, you are too funny!"

I said, "Was it good for you?"

She saw the gel on my foot and wiped it off and said, "Oh my god, I have this friend back in Honduras who tell me the last time I see her, 'I am so tired of my husband only wanting to make love to my feet'."

They could probably hear us laughing at the nail salon across the street.

You can't make this stuff up.